ALAS!
Sometimes writing wrings my soul dry. More than an actor I must become my characters. I share their desires. I feel their pain. I cry. I want to help but like a good and gracious god, I know they must go through these chapters in order to be happy and productive, post-novel. It’s hard to explain but in my mind’s eye, these people are real. I’m just documenting a segment of their lives.
As heroine, I have survived much trauma. As I fall in love I begin to remember why I don’t want a man to touch me. I am torn and tormented. I shed tears as the memories of my attack begin so seep into my consciousness.
As the hero, I am living a lie. I either get the heroine to fall in love with me or die. The more attracted I become to her, the more I detest myself. I can find no way out. Until I am knighted, my life is little more than that of a slave. Even then, I will be underneath my grandfather’s powerful rule. If he wants her pregnant with my child, so be it.
Oh dear hearts. Worry not. We are but on the fifth chapter. It seems bleak now, but we will prevail.
Love the blog, Stella 🙂